My only goal in life is to be as sarcastic as him

(Source: forget-your-troubles-get-happy, via sometimeseyedream)


Pretty cool how if you run out of money you can just stab someone and take theirs

(via sometimeseyedream)


*sees a pic of a skinny person* *inspired for 11 seconds*

(via pizza)


visiting Yahoo Answers instead of a doctor

(via sometimeseyedream)


i hate bugs that fly, jump, crawl, dougie, twerk, 2 step, all that shit

(Source: sav4gez, via sometimeseyedream)


when i was 14 my teacher made fun of my pimples in front of the whole class and my best friend was furious so whenever she saw the teacher she’s like “OH YOU GET NEW CRINKLES TODAY” “DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT COS APPARENTLY YOU DIDN’T” “HEY MA’AM IS THAT YOUR BUTT OR IS THAT YOUR BELLY THEY LOOK THE SAME” she got detention almost everyday even i told her to stop she still did it anyway if you dont know what golden friendship is this is

(via sometimeseyedream)


When your girlfriend tries to hold your hand before marriage


(via sometimeseyedream)


do u ever realize how ugly u really are and it just ruins ur day

(via pizza)


yeah that’s true, but is it tru

(via pizza)


yeah mom im ok i just dont want to be alive haha

(via pizza)