queenrylan:

esotericalesbians:

it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob

what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob

Because we have vaginas

(Source: barfemoji, via pizza)

marinashutup:


my brother blocked me on twitter and i’m really upset because his tweets are pure gold

marinashutup:

my brother blocked me on twitter and i’m really upset because his tweets are pure gold

(via pizza)

dumbfricker:

having multiple tests on the same day
image

(via pizza)

vegay:

sometimes im like yeah but most of the time im like no

(Source: plnts, via circumcising)

the-winchester-initiative:

posthumous-mcdouble:

Hypothesis: if women are worse at parking, it’s only because they’ve been lied to about what eight inches is their entire lives

image

(Source: collectiveassbutts, via pizza)

aschoolgirlcrush:

“will u marry me?”

“okie dokie”

(via pizza)

shouldnt:

WHY DO I SECOND GUESS EVERY SELFIE I TAKE

(via circumcising)

mylourrydiary:

hlil:

Can u believe there are plants that are illegal
Plants

Can you believe there is love that is illegal
Love

(Source: hhlil, via pizza)

date:

have you ever had a dream about someone and then you started feeling different about him because of that dream?

(via circumcising)

derpycats:

Tilly does NOT like the sound of hairdryers #1

derpycats:

Tilly does NOT like the sound of hairdryers #1

hamburgurl:

I’m like 25% funny and 85% bad at math

(via circumcising)

cokeflow:

cokeflow:

I am drunk on my front porch and I think a lizard went into my shirt but whatever man have fun in there

when did I post this

(via pizza)

eeveez:

you have no proof that i am not at least one of the members of daft punk

(via circumcising)